All Big 12 Honors

First of all, I'd like to thank Joe Huff for giving me the forum to pick the LandThieves Press All Big 12 team. It's been a very difficult year for me. The envelopes please:

Player of the Year: Michael Beasley. I gave serious consideration to the Dallas Morning News Selection of D.J. Augustin - I was seriously considering calling the po-po to give Chip Brown a drug test.

Coach of the Year: Scott Drew. There were a lot of viable choices here. I think choosing Rick Barnes or Bill Self here is like licking yourself. It's convenient, it feels good. I chose Drew because the Bears were picked in the bottom third of the conference at the beginning of the year. If I'd have told you then Aaron Bruce would play so poorly, and that they would be vying for the fourth spot in the conference the last day of the season, you'd have had me in for drug testing quicker than you can say, "Chip Brown smokes pot."

A lot of end of year all conference and all American teams have goofy combinations of four guards and a center. Or two centers, three forwards and a shooting guard. We here at LTP favor a more traditional setup.

Center: Tyler Hansbrough. Wait, he's not in the Big 12? He'll be the best white big man to come out of North Carolina since Eric Montross. Anywho, there's really not an all conference level center there. But since Brody Freaking Eldridge made all conference as a fullback, I'll go with Aleks Maric, Nebraska.
Forward: Michael Beasley, Kansas State
Forward: Blake Griffin, Oklahoma
Point Guard: D.J. Augustin, Texas
Shooting Guard: Brandon Rush, KU

In doing research for this project, I realized the Big 12 has six people on the all-conference team. I guess we're playing 1980s Oklahoma Girls Basketball. In that case, we'll give a slot to Darrell Arthur, Kansas, just so he can get the roster bonus.

Now for some awards unique to the LandThieves Family o' Blogs:
Most Improved Player with a broken leg: Longar Longar, Oklahoma. The 2007-08 broken leg moedl is better than the 2006-07 healthy one.

Most Public Urination: Bill Walker, Kansas State. There's no honorable mention here, folks. Or dishonorable mention, which would probably be more appropriate.

Worst Time to Fire the Mascot: Texas A&M. We coulda been a contender. Instead, my retirement was leaked to the press and the Aggie hoops fortunes fell faster than David Hernandez could say "Male Cabaret Performer".