I'm Back!

I just wanted to let everyone know I filed my reinstatement papers with Texas A & M today. I have been talking to them unofficially for a couple of weeks now, and we just couldn't come to an agreement on what to do with me. I expect President Murano to review the papers tomorrow and make a final decision.

Rumors around College Station was that former Vice President of Student Affairs Dean Bresciani was looking to trade me to another school outside the Big 12 that needed a mascot. That rules out my favorite - I was hoping they would move me to Oklahoma State - they have a good vet school, and just like TAMU, it's an Aggie school with an inferiority complex like you wouldn't believe. Plus, they've got that goofy looking Pistol Pete wandering around athletic events. That guy creeps me out. I phoned Boone a couple of times on my Aggie issued cell phone, but he's busy with his wind energy project. Next time I see him, I'll show him some wind.

By the way, did you know that if you rearrange the letters in Dean Bresciani you can spell "rabies and nice"? Anyway, Bresciani apparently resigned under duress earlier this month. I sure hope my indecision on staying retired didn't effect his employment status. Now there's a whole new org structure at the school. There's a lot of change going on at school. I hope now that the price of gas is falling they will fund the fishing program appropriately.

Many of you are probably wondering why I came back. I've been staying up late at night watching M*A*S*H* reruns on TVLand with my new master, HeadThief. It was all I could do during the incessant promos for "She's got the look". Now, M*A*S*H* has been replaced by Hogan's Heroes, and it's just not the same. Then they started that piece of crap show with George Foreman. But the last straw was last night, when TVLand ran a commercial for prostrate medication and followed it with an ad wishing women a "happy period". you can even send an e-card to that effect. At that point, I decided it was time to get off the couch and get back into the action.

For my return, I was contemplated partnering with Budweiser to do some sort of ads opposing the 'happy period' line. Maybe something like, "While you're girlfriend's having a happy period, go out with the guys and drink a 24-pack." Kinda like "wishing you a speedy recovery" card.

Wait, where were we? Sorry, we dogs have short attention spans. I hope the Aggie administration will give me a second chance at the starting position for Aggie mascot. I don't wish to finish out my career as a backup.

Retirement Speech

Well, the big day is coming up fast. The handlers weren't going to let me say anything, but this blog let's me air it all out.

First of all, I would like to thank everyone for coming out today. I haven’t seen this much concern for an animal since Barbaro - strike that - Eight Belles. And I didn’t even have to go to the glue factory to get it! It’s been a mere seven years ago when I was introduced as Reveille VII. I was so nervous I nearly peed on myself! If I would have known how bad Franchione was going to suck as a football coach I would have never accepted this job.

But ignorance was bliss in those days! We didn’t know Reggie McNeal would go from leading an upset of #1 Oklahoma to smoking pot with the Cincinnati Bengals. We didn’t know Coach Fran would peak at TCU. Who’d a thunk Gary Patterson was behind all that? Who knew Billy Gillespie could coach hoops? Who knew Aggies could sport dreadlocks.

News this week is they will be replacing me with a "collie-like" dog. What the #$!#@ if a collie-like dog? As far as I know, I'm being replaced by a clone of the first mutt that was run over during the Depression. Can someone help me out here? Also, is there an editor for the paper? The story starts out, "As the semester comes to a close, Reveille VII will retire and no replacement mascot has not been decided on yet." Nice double negative. Can I get a little more love than this on my last week out.

Pardon me, I digress. Many people have written in letters wanting to know the favorite part of my tenure. So I’ve come up with a list. Here goes:

1. Beating Oklahoma in football when they were the #1 team in the nation.
2. A late night tour of the vet school in 2004. Good times.
3. Finally getting a taste of my handlers. I was so tired of those guys that day.
4. Hiring Billy Gillespie. We made an awesome team. We made the Sweet 16 in men’s BB in 2007. I can’t believe someone from Memphis actually made free throws to win a game.
5. Beating Texas football 12-7 in Austin in 2006. No, that wasn't a cheap shot on Colt McCoy. It was a love tap.
6. Making the Elite Eight in Women’s BB in 2008. Did you know the Lady Aggies have made the post season more times during my tenure than all other Reveille’s combined?

On the other hand, there are some things indelibly on my mind that will likely never be erased, until some vet gives me a little dose of lead and they park me outside Reed Arena. PLEASE DON'T LET THEM PUT ME OUTSIDE KYLE FIELD. Basketball was my sport. The record speaks for itself.

1. Norman, Oklahoma in the fall of 2003.
2. Waco, Texas, 2004
3. Going scoreless for 16 minutes and scoring 10 points in a half.

Let's not dwell any more on the negatives. It's been a nice ride.

Many of you have asked what I will do after retirement. Hopefully, someone will spot me up at a nice ranch where I can catch the occasional rabbit, and hit the motivational speaking circuit every once in a while for some extra income. Absent that, I’ll lay around, eat some, poop some, eat my poop some, and lick myself some. As George Carlin said, if you could do it, you’d never leave the house.

Some message boards have linked me with the Triump the Insult Comic in a retirement home somewhere in California. Those rumors are exactly that - rumors. However, I must admit I've had some lapses in judgment in my personal life. If I offended someone, I apologize.

I wish all you Aggies the best in your future endeavors.

Gig 'em

Reveille VII